Ways to downsize an aging parent, without the stress

My mom was a huge collector. She used to do a lot of thrifting and antiquing back in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s. She was also a creative person with lots of materials for her craft. She had a lot of stuff.

When the time came for me to help her downsize from a three-bedroom home to a one-bedroom assisted living apartment, the task seemed daunting. Happily, the process went relatively smoothly and quickly. Here are three reasons why that happened.

Timing

I had been trying to get my mother to move for years, without any luck. We had talked about what would go and what would stay. When she found an apartment she liked, in a location she wanted, we were ready.

Start discussing downsizing options well before a move is necessary, and hopefully when your parent is still in good health. This gives them the opportunity to consider their options and priorities. It also allows them to be part of the decision-making process.

Deciding what stays and what goes takes time — sometimes years. Families get most stressed and frustrated when they try to do something, as significant as moving an elderly relative, too quickly.

Being inquisitive and intentional

My mom’s memory was still intact, and maybe even better than my own. She could tell me where items had come from and what they meant to her. We were able to identify special things she and I wanted for me and my family.

Talk with siblings and other family members about whether they are interested in any furniture, collections, or heirlooms.

Some people think that dividing up someone’s possessions while they’re still alive is morbid, but it actually creates peace of mind for everyone and helps to avoid conflict.

Sharing decisions

Clients hire me to help a relative downsize because a third party will be better able to facilitate decision-making. Moving and downsizing are big jobs, physically and emotionally. Parting with prized possessions can be very difficult. I work with clients with humor and empathy.

I didn’t make my mom part with everything. Instead, we went through items basing decisions on what she needed and what was important to her. She found that her taste had changed over the years and she was excited to keep only the things that she truly loved.

A move is never easy, and when it involves downsizing a parent, it is even more anxiety-provoking. Memories are an important part of the process and being able to help my mom and yours is something I welcome. Contact Laurey.